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[25 Nov 2009|04:29am] |
I found this written down from last year. I must have been really upset or something...
Sometimes I "take a step out of the box" and look at all of the cars driving on the road, or all of the people frustrated with poor service, or myself rushing to get a shower, brush my teeth, get dressed, brush my hair, put shoes on, go to school, do work that doesn't mean anything. After I "take my step out of the box" I realize that the most serious thing in this world doesn't mean a thing. We simply keep ourselves busy. Temporarily happy. One of my teachers, Mrs. Jones, has a poster in her classroom it says, in 20 years it wont matter what clothes you wore, or the car you drove or.. blah blah blah... all that matters is what you learned and how you learned it. Well last year and this year I have worn sweats, thrown my hair up, and taking my sweet time on things, and I feel sad. I guess the more you keep busy, the happier you are.
What the fuck kinda game is life? Why are we "supreme" and if we aren't why do we think we are? We think we have control over everything, but its pretty messed up that something as little and insignificant as money can corrupt us. Money and power... isnt it funny how in our system Derek Jeter brought in about 21 million dollars in 2008, but a freakin Neurosurgeon on average pulls in 300,000 if they have been in that field over 20 years.yeah... that money system can control any person.
We don't even know what happens after life, why we have life, why we die, why we fall in love, why we have a formatted life... I'm a little dissapointed but if nothing happens after life, then life is all i have, its all i should comprehend, what determines if you're making the best of it?
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[01 Aug 2009|12:05pm] |
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mood |
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 scared |
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he's all i want. i cant think about anything else. i don't want to.
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[25 Feb 2008|08:47pm] |
(unnecessary)things I'm thinking about
-How would i support a child on min wage and go to school?
-DO I even really want to marry Mike?
-Do i really love Mike or just the idea of him?
-If i committed suicide would i regret it during my last breath?
-Why would anyone want to kill themselves?
...Why do parents make their children hate life?
-Why do i feel like I'm perfectly responsible, when evidence shows that I'm the complete opposite?
-Why do I like work so much, but complain about it all of the time?
-Am I a bad person because I would like sympathy once in a while?
-Why doesn't everyone have a genuine care for humankind?
-Why do I love hot sauce now, but years ago i couldnt eat it without crying?
-Why do i care so much about my weight?
-Why are all of the girls in my school so thin?
-Why do My best friend and I always compete without even having a reason?..it must be me.
-How many children do I want to have?
-Why do all of the 90's pop rock songs make me cry my eyes out to the point of barfing?
-Why do i have a closet full of clothes and still nothing to wear?
-Would I ever cheat? (general)
-Do I want to go to college?
-DO i want to go to the same college as Mike?
-If i stay with mike while im young will i regret it when i'm 40 and it's too late?
-If i leave mike and he was the right one will i die lonely?
-What's gonna happen when I'm 18?
-Will I live until i'm 18?
-IS christianity true or false?
-Why of all the universes and worlds, would god put hell in this world?
-Why would hell be so bad? if i'm just a soul i'm not going to get thirsty.
-The bible must be all symbolism and christianity just can't see through it.
-Either that or the bible is a complete joke.
-People are very concerned about stupid little factors of life when we are little particles of dust that die and are rarely remembered. Who cares if the pot broke, when you have twenty more?
-Was life supposed to be like this?
-What the Heck is up with sex? Am i supposed to like it or not? is it ok if i do? has society influenced my liking of it or is it just human. (i've heard both)
-clothes are really annoying.
-The money system is bogus. Everyone gets caught up in money. Nobody should starve to death when there is food being thrown out at the local grocery store because no one BOUGHT it.
-FOOD should be free.
-Why do people care about the most useless stuff?
-Why do i want money so bad?
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[06 Feb 2006|10:33am] |
| Your Japanese Name Is... | 
Naoko Matsumoto |
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[24 Dec 2005|06:37pm] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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alternative ulster- stiff little fingers |
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I've come to the conclusion that i was very emotional like this whole month. I deff. got better: ) Anyways things are fine with me and gary, but my main concern right now is veal and mynk. eating veal is the most inhumane thing I've ever heard of. i must admit i have eaten it before but i never fully understood what they did and now i am completely disgusted. what they do to mynk is also wrong. they have farms where they keep mynk so they can murder them only for their fur; the rest of the animal is waisted. they do it so rich people can wear coats that make them look like the fucking animals they are...
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